Coconuts and candles?

But what is prayer? Is it simply repeating certain words or the name of God? Is it saying the ‘Our Father’ or the ‘Hail Mary’ or Hai Ram? Is it a mantra or a meditation? Do we need to perform certain actions, break a coconut or light a candle, to persuade God to listen to us? Can only special people, such as priests, offer prayers to God? Do we need to be ritually pure before he will hear our prayers? When can we pray? When must we pray?

Prayer is a relationship

Many of our prayers are self-centred, focusing on our needs and desires. We try to twist God’s arm to do what we want or to earn his favour.

But prayer is far more than getting God – or some power – to do what we want. It is the chief way in which we develop a relationship with God. So it should be the most important activity of our lives.

Prayer is not the mindless repetition of words. It is not just a ritual that we perform mechanically.

The Bible tells us the amazing fact that God accepts us because of Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross on our behalf. This is the extraordinary privilege that we have. Because of this we can talk personally to God. This is prayer.

Prayer is opening ourselves to God and letting him into our lives – our joys and sorrows, our needs and desires. In any growing relationship we need to spend time talking with the person concerned in order to get to know him or her better. Similarly with prayer. The more time we spend talking with God the better we get to know him. 

Prayer needs to be regular but it is also spontaneous. It is good to have a special time of day when we meet God and maybe a special place where we do so but we can also pray at any time, in any place. We don’t have to use special words. We don’t need to adopt a particular posture, though some people find it helpful to do so – kneeling, sitting, standing or prostrate.

The example of Jesus

Jesus prayed frequently. On several occasions he went out to a quiet place to pray before daybreak (Mark 1:35). At every important moment in his mission he spent time in prayer – before beginning his work, before choosing his closest disciples and on the night of his betrayal and arrest. His disciples watched him praying and they asked him to teach them to pray.

The teaching of Jesus

An important lesson that Jesus taught his disciples was that God is our loving father and we have the privilege of coming into his presence and calling him by that name. This Father knows our needs and wants to provide for them, but loves to hear from us. ‘Your Father knows what you need before you ask him,’ said Jesus. ‘So don’t be anxious about your life – food, drink and clothes… For you already have life and a body – and they are far more important than what to eat or wear. Look at the birds! They don’t worry about what to eat – for your heavenly father feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than they are’ (Matthew 6:25-26).

Patterns of prayer

Prayer is part of our relationship with God and so we are free to talk to him as we wish and at any time. However, many people find it helpful to have a pattern for their prayers. This could include…

Praise – worshipping God for who he is and what he has done

Thanks – for good health, family, friends, a job, ways he has helped us and many other good things

Confession – asking God’s forgiveness for what we have done wrong

Asking – for ourselves, our friends and others; for the world and its great needs

Listening – to what God wants to say to us

Also see…

> The Lord’s prayer – Jesus gave his disciples an example of prayer, known as the Lord’s Prayer